PAULS MUSIC



Click on the song titles for the music
The Jam - Down In The Tube Station

White Horses

Paul Weller - Broken Stones

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Porcelain

Guns N' Roses - Use Your Illusion I (1991) [Full Album]

Firstly I want to to thank everybody for your love and well wishes, I love you guys and gals a lot, and reading your comments and notes has helped me so much. I have been sitting here staring at the screen for hours, not knowing how to say what I am going to tell you next, so I am just going to say it as it comes...............

On January 13th 2012, my husband took his own life, following the death of his sister on new years eve, due to an epileptic seizure. Why am I telling you all this? Because I need his death to mean something, and just at the moment it feels so meaningless, and such a waste.

Paul had a hard time dealing with death. Just before we were married, he lost his youngest sister Linda, followed the next year by his youngest half brother Marcus. We banded together as a family, and we pulled him through, although he never got over it. He always enjoyed a pint at the pub, but he was drinking more, to forget. Then 5 years ago he lost his Mother, and he began to push everyone that he cared for away, he started rows and trouble with me, his kids, his friends, and then moved to the next town, to a very bad area that he would never have lived in before........He stopped talking, he stopped getting help, and losing Debbie was the last straw.

It helps a bit that I can understand why, but it has left me with so many mixed emotions,  I am lucky though, I have a good friend who knows more about me than most, warts, hissy fits, and all, and they said something to me today that I want to share......

Sorrow and other emotions these incidents bring are easier
to handle and more commonly accepted. Anger feels unfair and not
allowed, and yet everyone goes through all the same emotions. Give
yourself a right to feel exactly the way you do. From grief to fury,
from laughter to tears. And talk to someone. That's more important than
you think. Share your feelings. Share your thoughts. Don't keep them
inside eating you alive.

Real friends say the truth, and that is so very true.

I have a number of friends here, who have lost friends, family and beloved pets recently, and to them I say DON'T STOP TALKING!  And don't keep the feelings locked inside you.

Which brings me to the second reason for this journal. I clicked on a poll link (Thank you ) which led me to this contest.

"We Miss You" Contest III [link]

"We Miss You" is a yearly contest held by *PutYourBraveFaceOn () and *Alligatorr ()
made for the ones dear to us that passed away. It is a tribute to those
who changed our lives in one way or another; it is a message, a way of
coping with our loss, of saying thanks and of expressing our deepest
feelings through art; it is an unburied or unspoken secret, the song of
our hearts, the unseen tear, a piece of our broken soul. It is
everything you want it to be, as long as it is related to a dead person
or an animal companion. I know that "dead" may seem like a harsh word
and we usually try to avoid it, because it hurts too much by making it
all too real, but in the past "We Miss You" Contests not all the people
got the point otherwise.

"We Miss You" Contest -             

Why should I do this?

"We Miss You" Contest - III            

Love to you all, Delice